Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Hope is a Bitch

I searched for Hope on Pinterest just now.  Thinking I may be able to find a graphic or a quote that would help summarize the awfulness that is hope.  Every single hope picture and quote was positive.  I suppose that's a good thing.  Hope should be something positive.  People that have hope haven't given up.

When I started writing this blog last weekend, based solely on a tearful conversation that I had with my mother, I was in a crappy mood and not feeling like hope was a good thing.  What could be more awful than knowing that no matter how sucky the situation you are going to have hope that things can get better?  Even when things consistently don't improve.

The thing is that when you are in the middle of a shitty situation you can't help but have hope. Hope is what is going to get you through that situation without losing your mind.  How do you fail to have hope when you know that it's possible for things to get better? The biggest question is how do you keep having hope when things continue to not get better?

The problem with hope is that even though it's one of the most positive of human emotions it can break your heart into a million pieces.  Hope is a bitch.

It really is the possibility that keeps us going.  Day in and day out nothing is guaranteed but can you imagine how awful it would be to always think the worst of every situation?  To never look on the bright side?  To never see the glimmer of light peeking through the clouds?

I started this post thinking about how much of a bitch hope is but I'm ending it knowing that I wouldn't trade even the smallest sliver of hope for anything in the world.  Hope can break my heart over and over, and I'll continue to let that bitch come back every time.

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