Wednesday, November 27, 2013
If This Isn't Nice, I Don't Know What Is
Something weird has been happening the last few days. I have been unequivocally, ridiculously happy. Now there are all sorts of reasons for this and this post is not going to be about those reasons. This one is going to be about not taking things for granted. About not becoming complacent. About how good it feels to do stuff for someone who does things for you.
I have been a in a couple of relationships where I felt like I put forth a huge amount of time and effort and energy and had none of that same energy put back in to me. I always felt drained and taken for granted. But what if it went both ways? Don't get me wrong, I know that it didn't always. But what if the breakdown happened in part because I became so used to having certain things done for me that I didn't appreciate them anymore? And vice versa. That lead to both people feeling like they are being taken for granted which lead to anger and animosity and it was all just a vicious cycle.
This could happen in any type of relationship. I always expect my mom to have the ability to feed me if just randomly decide to show up at her house. She does always feed me. But does she know how happy it makes me to know that I can do just that? Does she think I take it for granted? Do I show my appreciation often enough? Well enough?
That is where the breakdown happens. In the not feeling appreciated. My goal is to not let it happen anymore. There is so much joy to be found in the little things. Not just the little things that are done for you every day but also in the little things that you do for other people. The small things that make them happy. Like start a load of laundry or sit on the floor when there isn't room for both of you on the sofa. Do the dishes when you know they hate doing dishes. Plan what to eat for dinner. Make coffee while you're in the shower so that you don't have to wait a second longer to drink it once you get out :-)
Don't be complacent. Recognize and acknowledge the little things. Say "Please" and "Thank You" and "I Love You". Those are the words that matter. Those are the important things. Big gestures are great but they are short lived. It's the little every day gestures and words that make you feel loved.
It's funny, people say you don't know what you have until it's gone. That works in reverse too. You don't know what you were missing until you finally have it. Now that I have it I'm never going to take it for granted again.