Let's be clear about something. I don't have a makeup bag. I have five. Or six. Maybe seven. They are all full of makeup that I don't use but can't bring myself to throw away just in case I need the bright pink lipstick or silver eyeliner someday. I also have a cabinet that contains those bags and about twenty bottles of half full lotion and twenty more bottles of shampoo and conditioner that I decided I didn't like but also can't seem to throw away. What if I run out and need to use that shitty conditioner in a pinch? Maybe one day I'll want to smell like Bath and Body Works Grapefruit (probably not). Oh crap, I'm a toiletry hoarder. That also explains my need to have at least 12 rolls of toilet paper in reserve at all times.
Anyway, back to the makeup. In addition to the five, six, maybe seven bags under the sink, I also have a drawer and a vase with the makeup I actually use. It's not very much. Bare Minerals powder and bronzer, nude and brown eyeshadow, a couple different colors of eyeliner, chapstick and mascara.
Oh, mascara. How I love my mascara. If told I could only take two items of makeup to a desert island I would want to have mascara and chapstick. Why I would need either if I was stranded on a dessert island I don't know but you used to come across that question on stupid Myspace surveys all the time. I genuinely do not want to leave the house without mascara on.
Mascara is the only thing that keeps me from looking 12. If I try and buy lottery tickets without mascara on I get carded every time. I suppose that's something to be proud of. I mean, really, I thank anyone who asks to see my I.D. Especially when it's for lottery tickets. That means I look under 18. The best feeling in the world is when you get carded and the person carding you calculates your age and acts surprised. Whether they actually are or not is totally irrelevant. When you are thirty something and find more grey hairs and wrinkles daily you take what you can get. But I digress, mascara.
It has taken me 20 years and hundreds of dollars to find the perfect mascara. It's Urban Decay and its amazing. Even knowing that I have the perfect mascara I can't help but try others. What if a better perfect mascara comes out? I need to try the new ones to make sure that they aren't better than the perfect one I am already using.
So this post has revealed that I collect (aka hoard) toiletries and mascara and that I have issues with aging.
Fantastic.
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