Monday, December 16, 2013

Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes

I was talking to Veronica the other day about a book that she has read, and that I started reading after this conversation, "My Year With Eleanor". It's about a writer that loses her job, becomes fascinated with Eleanor Roosevelt and decides to spend a year doing something outside of her comfort zone, every day for a year.  While having this conversation Veronica tells me that it puts life and actions into some perspective and inspires change. I looked at her incredulously and said "Don't you think I've had enough change this year? I don't need anymore."

I started thinking about that statement.  It has been a year of some major changes. Seriously MAJOR changes.  But then I started thinking about the past few years.  Not a year has gone by without some major changes.  This year feels different because they were changes that were hard to make, for the most part, and there were a lot of them in quick succession.  Not all of the changes were stressful or bad but change in general is difficult.  As people we have a tendency (some of us more than others) to need to be in control. Change is something that we can't control.  We can only control how we react to the change.

Even changes that you have been waiting for and want more than anything are scary.  You never really know the impact of that change.  There is nothing worse then the "what if's" that come along with change and major life decisions.  Fear of the unknown, and fear of making the wrong decision, is to be expected. I know from experience that the ramifications of not making a decision can cause more stress and havoc than having made the decision in the first place.

The thing about change is that it is inevitable, people change, jobs change, locations change. There are little changes and big changes. Our reactions really are the only thing we can control.  Change is going come, whether we like it or not.  We can also only change ourselves and grow by changing the way we see things and the way we react to the world around us. I think that the key to being happy and successful is being open to change.  That sounds pretty weird coming from a control freak like me.  I guess I'm learning to control what I can, but if I can't control it then I need to just roll with it. And let me tell you, that realization is a HUGE change.

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