You Can't Have a Good Day With a Bad Attitude

My last few blog posts have been fairly negative.

Negative might be the wrong word. Aggressive. Angry. Pessimistic. Yes definitely pessimistic.

I'm my blog about hope, and the other about change, I managed be positive about both topics. Heck, I've spent the majority of the last 6 months trying to be more positive about everything. I went back and read a lot of my blogs today and I was succeeding in being a mostly positive person. Then something changed.

I also realized that at some point I stopped dreaming. I stopped believing in the magic that I spoke of so convincingly just two months ago. I stopped believing that the things I want can and will happen. Pessimist is the only word that encapsulates ask of those things.

I can't explain this change in mindset. I suppose it could have something to do with the weather. I need sunshine and summer bad.

It could have something to do with my new job, which has done nothing but suck big ones since I started.

It could have something to do with not having time to blog. I don't know what I think until I write it down.

When you add my job and the shit that goes along with everyday life. Dinner. Baseball. Homework. Even just cleaning the house. I'm completely overwhelmed. That situation does not lead to a positive attitude.


The thing I have to keep reminding myself is that everything will get better. Summer will come. Work will get easier. Life is life and there's nothing you can do about everyday things. There is absolutely no reason be such a pessimist. I need to suck it up and put a smile on my face. No one likes a Debbie downer. You know it's bad when you start getting on your own nerves. You can't have a good day with a bad attitude. Which means it's time to change my attitude.

I Don't Care (insert Big Jesus hands here)

I'm pretty sure that whoever built the Christ the Redeemer statute in Rio de Janeiro didn't expect me to daily state "I don't care (Big Jesus)". For some reason whenever I say that I don't care, I put my hands out just like the Big Jesus statue. When I really don't care I emphasize each word by gesturing with my Big Jesus hands.

Although this sounds funny, it very rarely is. Let's talk about all of the things I don't care about.

I don't care about excuses. There is a difference between an excuse and an explanation. When you give an explanation you take responsibility. When you give an excuse you just try to justify why you didn't complete your task or did something wrong. I hate excuses. I have fired vendors for offering excuses rather than solutions. I've dated/married men that had an excuse for everything. They got fired too. I think that when I was writing my pet peeve blog in September, excuses probably should have made list.

I also don't care if someone the told something different then what I'm telling you right now. If I'm giving you direction, or asking you to do something I don't care if you've been told something someone else at some other time. I'm telling you to do it now. I don't want to be questioned, second guessed, or argued with. If you feel the need to do any of those things come me in private or do what I say and tell me "I told you so" later. Unless you are my child, then just do it!  If you think you have a better way to do it.  Try it my way first. Otherwise I don't care.

I don't care if you feel like your too busy. We're all too busy. No one working 40 plus hours a week, taking care a family of any kind, even if it's just a cat, and still trying to have some sort of a social life doesn't feel like they're too busy. Please don't use this as an excuse. Because I don't care.

I don't care about a lot of other things. I don't care if you can't pay your rent. It's due every month on the same day. Plan better.

I don't care if you don't think you should have to pay for your carport or garage. If you use it pay for it. If not I'll rent it to someone who will.

I don't care if you were told by someone else that you had 24 hours change your mind about living in your apartment. You don't. You should have thought about that before we both signed a legal binding document.

I don't care if you think I should drink less coffee. I don't care if you think I should quit smoking. I don't care if think i drink too much wine. I don't care if you agree with my life choices. I don't care if you don't like me. I don't care if you think I'm a bitch.

Most of all I don't care if my "I don't care attitude" offends you. A good person can only be pushed so far before they don't give a Fuck anymore and guess what? I haven't been anything but pushed for the past 40 days. Push me again. My standard response "I don't care (Big Jesus)".

Girl Next Door Cute Isn't Working For Me

I feel like lately my personality is being taken for granted.  I started this new job and it seems to me that no one things that I'm a hard ass.  Everyone looks at me, sees someone who is girl next door cute and takes it for granted that I'm a pushover.

Let's address the first issue.  I hate the term cute.  I've always been cute when what I wanted to be is sexy or exotic.  The term cute is almost a slap in the face.  I know that I should be happy with myself the way that I am and I know that I can make myself be sexy with the right outfit and the right makeup. But most of the time, on a day to day basis, I'm cute.  I'm cute in a Winnie Cooper girl next door kind of way.  And no matter how happy is girl is with herself that kind of cute is little girl cute rather than grown woman attractive.

Being cute in that kind of way makes it so that people assume that you are just nice.  Don't get me wrong, I am nice.  I pride myself on just being a nice person.  But the assumption that I am nice is rather annoying.  I was at the bar the other night with a couple of friends and a table of guys bought our table a round.  Great, thanks. At the end of the evening when this group of guys were on their way out, they stopped at the table to chat for a minute.  They told my friend Veronica that she looked "mean and evil" and then said that I looked "sweet" and that I didn't have a "mean bone in me".

Now, let's keep in mind that although I pride myself on being nice I have the capability of being mean.  I do not take a whole lot of shit from anyone anymore and there is a tone that I get in my voice that makes people feel like shit on the bottom of my shoe.  I'm good at driving a point home.  I am nice, generally, but it isn't a great idea to make me mad.  One of my leasing consultants said the other day that I was "90 pounds of cross me I dare you" and that is the unequivocal truth (except for the 90 pounds part).  After a month of being at this new property it's about time they realize how mean I can be.

I have been called a bitch when I get mean but I don't think being called a bitch is always a bad thing. It can be a compliment. It can mean strong and independent. It can be a girl who knows how to take care of herself. It can be someone who knows what they will tolerate and what they won't. I have become very good at expressing what I will and will not tolerate. At home and especially at work.

So never underestimate the girl next door cute. If you do you might end up crying in the corner wondering what hell just happened.