My last few blog posts have been fairly negative.
Negative might be the wrong word. Aggressive. Angry. Pessimistic. Yes definitely pessimistic.
I'm my blog about hope, and the other about change, I managed be positive about both topics. Heck, I've spent the majority of the last 6 months trying to be more positive about everything. I went back and read a lot of my blogs today and I was succeeding in being a mostly positive person. Then something changed.
I also realized that at some point I stopped dreaming. I stopped believing in the magic that I spoke of so convincingly just two months ago. I stopped believing that the things I want can and will happen. Pessimist is the only word that encapsulates ask of those things.
I can't explain this change in mindset. I suppose it could have something to do with the weather. I need sunshine and summer bad.
It could have something to do with my new job, which has done nothing but suck big ones since I started.
It could have something to do with not having time to blog. I don't know what I think until I write it down.
When you add my job and the shit that goes along with everyday life. Dinner. Baseball. Homework. Even just cleaning the house. I'm completely overwhelmed. That situation does not lead to a positive attitude.
The thing I have to keep reminding myself is that everything will get better. Summer will come. Work will get easier. Life is life and there's nothing you can do about everyday things. There is absolutely no reason be such a pessimist. I need to suck it up and put a smile on my face. No one likes a Debbie downer. You know it's bad when you start getting on your own nerves. You can't have a good day with a bad attitude. Which means it's time to change my attitude.