PSA for Today. Learn How to Drive.

I just got to work.  I should probably be working, or spending the hour before the office opens doing school work, but I'm not.  Instead I'm going to blog about commuting, traffic and stupid drivers while listening to more loud music, because that's the only way I make it to work everyday and the only way to CTFD.

I have now been commuting 60 miles a day for two weeks.  It takes me about an hour to get to work and about an hour to get home. Which really isn't that bad.  I have been fairly zen about my commute up until now.  An hour to get from Tualatin to Vancouver isn't horrible.

The past couple of days I have stopped being zen about the whole thing and I couldn't figure out why. Then this morning on my way in I realized what it is.  It isn't the time that it takes.  It's the stupid drivers.  It's the fact that there is no reason for people to drive the way that they do. I will be the first to admit that I am not the best driver on the planet. But common sense makes me an above average driver. So, here is a little public service announcement regarding commuting.  Please read if you are at all annoyed by other drivers, or if you think you may be one of the drivers I'm talking about.

First things first.  Weather.  It changes from day to day.  Sometimes it's sunny and sometimes it's not. There are days where it rains a lot and there are days that it rains a little.  Here's the thing, it rains 8ish months out of the year here.  And it rains pretty hard a lot.  It's also dark a lot while it's raining. Starting on Sunday most commuters will be going to and from work in the dark. That isn't going to stop the rain.  If you are incapable of driving in the rain, or in the dark.  If these two factors together inhibit your ability to push your car down the road, you should probably get someone else to drive for you, at least until you understand that these same circumstances are going to last until APRIL!! Same goes with the sun, I know that on the rare occasion it comes out at this time of year we're all surprised but the glare of the sun should not keep you from driving like a normal person.

Left lane drivers.  Please note that if you are in the left lane that means that you are passing the cars in the right lanes.  If there is someone behind you that wants to go faster than you are going MOVE OVER!  I don't care if you are going 15 miles per hour over the speed limit.  Move.  It isn't your job to keep me from getting a ticket. Choosing to go faster than you is exactly that, a choice.  Move.  Now if you're in the left lane and the lanes aren't moving that's fine, you moving over isn't going to make anyone go faster. However, if traffic clears up and I still want to go faster than you MOVE! You don't have a claim on the left lane just because you spent 20 minutes sitting in it.  Also, please semi-trucks stay out of the left lane.  You're not supposed to be there and it just confuses everyone.

Ass riders.  If you're going to ride my ass at least pull my hair.  I can't go any faster than the person in front of me.  You riding my ass as we're creeping along at 10 MPH isn't going to do anything except cause an accident. You know the assholes on the side of the road holding up traffic because they got in a fender bender.  They're there because the dick in the back was riding the person in the fronts ass, they stopped and the dick in the back didn't have time to stop.  It would solve so many problems if you ass riders would just realize that I AM GOING AS FAST AS I CAN!!  You should also know that if you want to run in to me I don't care.  I have great insurance and I don't like my car so let's do this.

Since I brought up the people stopped on the side of the road, we'll go there next.  If you got into an accident please move out of the lane, I understand that there are some accidents that make this impossible, however, those are the accidents that make my commute take two hours rather than one.  The one hour accidents are the little ones, move onto the shoulder.  No, really, that's what it's there for. To those of you that didn't get into an accident but pulled on to the shoulder to make a phone call, or check your oil or beat your dick or whatever the fuck it is you are doing just sitting there.  GET OFF OF THE FREEWAY!!!  I know it's inconvenient but so is the delay you are causing to my day.

Last but not least is merging.  I think my child has known since he could talk that the reason we sit in traffic is because people don't know how to fucking merge.  I'm not sure why this is.  I know that one of the first things I learned about driving on the freeway was how to merge.  If you are on the freeway you let someone in front of you, if you are merging onto the freeway you need to merge behind the car that the person in front of you merged in front of.  Every. Other. Person. Don't be a dick.  Trying to squeeze three cars in is not necessary.  Even worse is the asshole that thinks no one should get in front of him.  You're the reason that we've been sitting on the freeway for an hour.

If people had more common sense and more common courtesy while commuting the world would be a much happier place.  And it would take us all a whole lot less time to get where we're going.

Phew, I think my blood pressure has gone down now.

Someday Feminism Won't Be Considered a Bad Word #fckh8

I shared this video from FCKH8.com on Facebook the other night because I loved it and because I was horrified by the statistics.  As we are all aware fuck is one of my favorite words so these girls dropping a few f-bombs didn't nearly have the impact on me that it had on some people.

Potty-Mouthed Princesses Drop F-Bombs for Feminism by FCKH8.com from FCKH8.com on Vimeo

I think we can all acknowledge that the point of this ad was that people were going to be more upset that these little girls were swearing than the statistics they were spouting in between curse words. And boy did it have people upset.  One comment on the Facebook post just said:

"Absolutely not. Children should not be swearing, period."

One of my favorite stories to tell about my son was the time he was about 18 months old and I very vehemently said "fuck" while driving and he proceeded to repeat the word "fuck" over and over long enough for me to call his dad and leave him a voice message of his child dropping the f -bomb with all the enunciation the word requires.  This has nothing to do with gender equality but I thought it was HILARIOUS!!  I have a nephew that also swears during "guy time".   Children swearing can be funny. And the woman who posted this comment proved the producers right, she completely missed the point and needs to pull the long, sharp stick out of her ass.

Then there was this guy:

"Stay classy FCKH8 taking advantage of a bunch of kids who I guarantee do not understand what they are being told to say."

Dude, let me just tell you, those girls understand what they are being told to say.  They may not understand the implication and severity of the problem, but they understand.  One of the things that I have always hated, as a strong girl, was when boys tried to tell me that I was too small, or too weak, or too anything.  I grew up on a street with 10 boys and all of their friends.  The boys that I grew up with knew what I was capable of and used to laugh when their friends would show up and talk about the things I couldn't do, or shouldn't do, because I was a girl.  I can do anything, and I knew, even at 6,  how much I hated to be told I couldn't do something that all of those boys were doing.  My parents made sure of it.

Those girls are going to be strong and independent.  They are not going to let the limitations that having a vagina automatically gives them, slow them down.  Not just that, but they obviously have parents that are strong and thus are teaching them to be strong.  You can tell when girl #5 asks which one of the five of them are going to be raped or assaulted she knows exactly what she is asking.  We teach our kids, especially girls, about stranger danger and bad people and getting kidnapped and touched on their private parts, and yes even raped, starting as soon as they start playing at the playground.  What makes anyone think those girls don't know what they are talking about.  Give credit where credit is due.  Kids have no choice but to be street smart.  Our society dictates it.

The video's producer, Mike Kahn told AdWeek:

 "Some adults may be uncomfortable with how these little girls are using a bad word for a good cause. It is shocking what they are saying, but … the big statistic that one out of five women are sexually assaulted or raped is something society seems to find less offensive than a little four-letter word."

I like sex. Sex is not something that I have ever been afraid to talk about or do. Non-consensual sex is the scariest thing I could imagine.  Except for being kidnapped and forced to have non-consensual sex. That would be worse. But the statistic is being overlooked, even though every woman knows that is a fear they are forced to face at a very young age. Not all men rape, but the majority of rapes are done by men. So although it isn't fair to blame all men, it also isn't fair to demean the statistic by picking it apart.

Then there was the guy who was SO ignorant I had to stop reading ignorant people's posts and start blogging.  This guy is the epitome of an ignorant, misogynistic asshole.  I hope he never reproduces.

"So forcing little girls to talk about things they know nothing about and aren't mature enough to understand using vulgar language is totally a great way at raising awareness for a cause. Feminist are fucking retarded... As for the whole dress code for schools, the reason you don't see men complaining about it is because boys don't dress in clothes exposing their sexual areas. YES, WOMEN HAVE MORE SEXUAL AREAS. SORRY. WE CAN'T CONTROL NATURE. BLAME MEN FOR YOUR BODY PARTS. ... just like the whole "sexual harassment" thing. Fucking wah. Everybody gets harassed. Short people, fat people, tall people, skinny people, "ugly" people, "unpopular" people, gay people, "nerds", and so on and so on. It is not a gender isolated thing and in no way is more common in women than men. It's an experience every human faces...."

And on and on and on.  Seriously, I thought my soap box was tall.  I took a Woman's Studies class my first semester of college and one of the things that was taught, and repeated over and over, was that a feminist started as someone who was looking for equality for women but has morphed into someone who believed in equality for all.  This dude is missing all of that.  I'm pretty sure that if I encountered him in public I would have no choice but to just walk away for fear that I would shank him.  He is the type that will disrespect anyone except for a straight, white, gender identified male. Through he rant he doesn't even touch on anyone who may identify with a different gender.  He also makes it perfectly clear that he believes sex is only to procreate.  I feel as though he is missing out on a lot of fun and quite a few brain cells.

I've stated before, during the #yesallwomen craze a couple of months back, that I don't think that I can do anything boys can do, I can't.  I also can't do everything some girls can do.  I can do anything I can do.  Me, myself and I.  I am a strong independent female and that is something that is appreciated by anyone that I choose to be in my life.  I had a vendor tell me today, after I told him I could take measurements if he was missing any, and bragged about my new Leatherman and it's tools, that I am a badass.  That's right. I am. I also really like to do my hair and get dressed up and pretty. Which also makes me pretty badass.  And I am a feminist.  I believe that everyone should be treated equally. Everyone.

And those little girls, well they are badasses too. They are already ahead of a lot of the people posting ignorant comments. They are already strong and independent.  This video is awesome and they ALL owned that shit.

Make Your Choices Reflect Your Hopes, Not Your Fears

When I was a child I was confident in everything I did.  I can remember knowing that I was always right.  One of my good friends used to tell me that she knew better than to tell me what to do because I was going to do what I wanted to do regardless of whether it was a good idea or not.  Just because I wanted to.  Which is true.  I am stubborn and bull headed and because I weigh the pros and the cons of every situation I think that whatever decision I am making, it's always going to be the right one. 

The thing is that I'm not always right.  Obviously.  And every decision that I make isn't always the right one.  I am an emotional person, and even though it doesn't really seem like it.  I live in the moment.  A lot.  I take my current circumstances and don't take into consideration that circumstances change.  

I quit my job a couple of months ago to go back to school full time and work part time.  I thought this sounded like an ideal situation. I was really burned out.  I was working at a difficult property, for a difficult owner and everyday seemed like a cesspool of negativity (I wrote lots of blogs about it, Just look back a couple of months). I felt like the only way I could ever do something besides property management would be to get a degree.  Thus going back to school. 

What I discovered after I had quit and been home just a week was a that a lot of my confidence and self-worth was tied up in bringing home a paycheck, in going to work everyday and being the boss.  Even working part time wasn't enough because I was bored.  I was SO bored. Even after school started I was bored.  So this week, I went back to property management, at a different property, and I'm not bored anymore, and my self confidence is back and I feel like I'm contributing again.  

The lesson that I learned the most, and the point of this blog, is that circumstances can change everything. And that is applicable in all aspects of life. 

You can be doing the exact same thing you were doing a year ago and be ten million times happier because your circumstances have changed.  

You can be at a different property, or you can have a different staff. And everything could be better (or worse) because of it. 

You can be getting married for the second, or third, or fourth time and it can be the best thing to ever happen to you.  Because your circumstances have changed.  You've changed, and grown, since the last time and you aren't marrying the same person. 

You can be starting a new relationship and be scared that it's going to be just like all the other times.  But it's not.  Because no two relationships are alike.  You don't want your fears to ruin something amazing.  Different circumstances, different people, different outcome. 

You are not the same person that you were when whatever you were doing before was happening. Which means, as you change your circumstances change. 

What that also means is that you should never base a current decision on a prior circumstance. Nothing is the same as it was the last time.  If you don't like where you are change it.  That doesn't mean you have to change everything, just the things that make you unhappy.  And that doesn't mean that just because you are unhappy means that you have to make a drastic change.  A small change in circumstance can make all the difference in the world. 

Change is really the only constant. You could wake up tomorrow and be the happiest you have ever been.  Isn't that a pleasant thought. 

I Have More Than Three Tattoos, Therefore I Have a Collection.

Would you rather have piercings or tattoos?

What a funny question.  I have both piercings and tattoos.  My most read blog is about my newest tattoo. I know that if I HAD to choose I would choose tattoos.  But I started with piercings.  I'm going to call piercings my gateway drug to tattoos. Each piercing and tattoo has a story attached.  Everything has some meaning right?

My first non-standard ear piercing was my ear cartilage. At the point that I decided I needed my cartilage pierced I had three holes in each ear and I wanted something different.  It was also 1995 and piercings were cool.  My cartilage hurt and was no fun.  That may have had something to do with the fact that I had my friend Rick do it. Using a piercing stud and a bag of peas on my parents front porch.  It was traumatic.  And once it was pierced it hurt for years.  I'm not being dramatic either.  I couldn't talk on the phone on my left ear for a really long time.  It's still pierced.  I've never taken it out.

My mom let me get my belly button pierced for my 16th birthday.  I then took it out for some reason. Got it pierced again.  Got pregnant and took it out (because I was so big I didn't have a choice) then had it pierced again when I was done being pregnant.  It's still pierced.

I got my tongue pierced after I turned 18 and promptly proceeded to travel to Eugene for a party where I smoked and drank and it got infected.  I hid it from my parents.  They told me that they spent WAY too much on my teeth for me to ruin them with a stud in my tongue.  That may have been my "I'm an adult now" act of rebellion.  I kept it long enough to go to Greece and freak out my ex-husbands small town Greek extended family, then I took it out.  I drove myself nuts with it, running it back and forth along my teeth. There's still a hole in my tongue where you can see where it was. There are pictures of this tongue piercing, at said party in Eugene. However, in addition to thinking I should have my tongue pierced, I also thought I should be a horrible shade of blonde.  It was all bad.

 My most recent piercing was a Christmas gift to myself in 2008.  It was my first Christmas as a divorced person, I was sharing my son with his Dad and was having a bit of a crisis over it.  I had been thinking about getting my nose pierced for a long time but the Ex didn't want me to.  I had talked about scarring with an esthetician.  I figured out which nostril was traditional for piercing and then one day on my lunch I went and did it. I question whether or not I'm getting too old to have my nose pierced occasionally, then I decide I don't care.

Traditionally the left nostril is the one you pierce for fertility reasons. Also if you are married, or of age to be married,  you wear a nose ring.

Tattoos, oh tattoos.  What should I say about tattoos.  I love them.  I love them on me.  I love them on other people.  I am a fan of tattoos.  I don't think I could ever be a person that has tattoos all over. I do like to be able to hide mine if necessary and I do think any tattoo above the collarbone is gross.  But I still love tattoos. My first husband had one wimpy tattoo and my second husband had no tattoos at all.  I've lucked out this time. My boyfriend has them everywhere and he wants more.  SEXY!!!

My first tattoo was the Chinese symbol of friendship.  I got it with a few friends after graduation.  I was 17 and my mom had to sign for it.  For my 18th birthday my mom and dad paid for my crown tattoo.  I think that there's a possibility I can blame my tattoo obsession on my parents :-)  After that I didn't feel like the crown was big enough so I had a swirly design added below it.  The crown and swirly design are technically a what is now referred to as a "tramp stamp".  I don't care.  They are still two of my favorites and it was 2000.  Lower back tattoo's had taken over where piercings left off.

Yes this is my crown.  No you cannot see the rest of the pictures.  But if you want to take pictures like it I can hook you up with the best boudoir photographer in the Portland/Vancouver area.

After that I waited a few years and got a tattoo of a frog on my foot around my ankle bone.  PJ was my little frog when he was a baby and I never wanted his name tattooed on me but that frog is symbolic of him. That tattoo lead to a HUGE fight with my then husband so when I left him I got another tattoo of a Forget-Me-Not down by my hip bone.  Low enough that if you ever got to see it you surely wouldn't forget.

Next came my maid-of-honor tattoo from Hawaii.  Mi'Cole and I both got tattoos while we were there.  In all of my genius I got a sun tattooed on the top of my foot, in the middle of September, which meant no shoes.  Until my most recent tattoo this one was definitely the most painful. But completely worth it.  My brother thinks it looks like I shot myself in the foot but I don't care. I still
love it.

You can kinda see both feet tattoos...

I took a few year hiatus (read I was re-married and didn't get to have anymore tattoos for five years) before I got my Bliss tattoo.  I got this tattoo about three days after I moved out of my second husbands house.  I was finding my bliss dammit.  Regardless of what happened I knew I didn't want to forget that was my goal.  So I had the word tattooed on the inside of my left bicep.  It is the one people see the most and I can't wait to get Patience tattooed on the other bicep.  Soon, very soon.

I then went with my friend Veronica to get her massive side tattoo and decided to get one on my right rib cage to test the pain level, and because, you know, why not?  It's an Audrey Hepburn quote that I love. And still love and do not mind having forever on my body.**

**I actually completely forgot I even had that one.  I guess that's why anything more than three is considered a collection.

Then there was the massive tattoo that I got about six months ago.  Like I said you can read all about it here.  Next will be the Patience tattoo. And then.  Then I'm going to get something big on my left shoulder blade/back and connect it to the big painful one on my side.  Maybe something like this... yeah that's a shadow and awesome and really what better to go with waves and flowers than the sun and moon and stars?

***Correction*** I was just reminded by my friend Lindsay (who actually has a matching Forget-Me-Not tattoo that we got together) that I didn't talk about the Fairy on my right shoulder, which you can see in the above picture. I don't remember why I got that one except that I found a picture I loved and based it off of.  I got it after the "tramp stamp" and before the frog.  I can't see that one and forget it's there. Goodness gracious.  I have grey hair and I'm losing my memory.  I feel old. 

I Wish That I Could Fly. Into the Sky. So Very High.

Would you rather fly or read minds?

I know that reading minds is a super power that a lot of people think they would like to have. I think that maybe I have read too many science fictions books.  All I can think of when I think of reading someones mind is the movie Bruce Almighty when he is trying to block out all of the prayers.  I also think about all of the shit that runs constantly through my mind, the stuff I don't say out loud, and I can't imagine having to listen to that constantly run out of other peoples brains and into mind.

I suppose there is the issue of selective mind reading.  As in you would only read the minds that you wanted to, when you wanted to.  I just don't feel like that would be good for me either.  On the other hand it would help with my obsessive tendency to get in my head and over think everything.  There wouldn't be a whole lot to over think if I knew what everyone else was thinking.

Now flying, that I can get on board with.  I could fly anywhere I wanted to.  Let's work with flying like Superman.  I could go anywhere in the world.  I could, hopefully, carry someone else with me. That way I could go on vacations all of the time and not have to pay for airfare.  We could go to the cabin whenever we wanted.  I could fly Josh to see his girls whenever he wanted.  Or go pick them up so they could visit.

Being able to fly would give you a lot of the freedom of being independently wealthy without actually having to be.

If I could fly, when the weather got cold and rainy I could just make a quick trip to someplace close and warm and get my Vitamin D and be happy again.

Reading minds sounds like a huge responsibility whereas flying sounds like a huge treat.  Maybe I should look into getting my pilots licence. Then we can buy a plane and I really could fly.

10 to 1 - Here I Go Again #blogchallenge

It's been almost an entire month since I posted a blog and I miss it.  Just like we all knew I would.  I've decided after some extensive thinking that all of the challenges that I face while blogging can be overcome and that I just need to do it.  So I'm going to start over again with the basics and then I'm going to do another blog challenge to get me back in the groove.  This is going to be a "Would you rather..." challenge that I discovered on Heck Yeah Tumber! and it should lend some good blog topics.  I feel like this 10 to 1 blog is a little bit of revisiting my first 30 days as a blogger and is appropriate for starting again.  

10 Facts about Yourself

1. I suck at making decisions.

2. I don't know what I think until I talk it out or write it down.

3. I'm ridiculously happy with my life and my love

4. I have some awesome friends

5. I hate cleaning the shower

6. I love to read

7. You shouldn't talk to me until I've had a cup of coffee in the morning

8. My first job was at Hallmark

9. I am going to live at the beach someday

10. I like to watch movies and read books that make me cry

9 Favorite Songs (I sure hate this one. They're all my favorite)

1. Hey Pretty Girl - Kip Moore

2. Purple Rain - Prince

3. Kind of Woman - Stevie Nicks

4. Fall into Me - Brantley Gilbert

5. In My Mind - Heather Headley

6. You Used to Love to Dance - Melissa Etheridge

7. Picture - Kid Rock

8. Promise - Jagged Edge 

9. Fuck My Car - Too Short

8 Places You’d Love to Go to

1. Italy!!!

2. Rio de Janerio

3. The Caribbean (I'm not going to be picky).

4. Ireland

5. Australia

6. Spain

7. Germany

8. Italy!!! (This goes on the list twice I want to go so bad!)

7 Things You Couldn't Live Without (or could live without but don't want to)

1. Sex

2. Music

3. Sleep

4. The Beach

5. Josh

6. PJ

7. Coffee

6 Favorite TV Shows

1. Gilmore Girls

2. Scandal 

3. Friends

4. Castle 

5. Bones

6. So You Think You Can Dance

5 Favorite Foods

1. Tacos

2. Tuna

3. Pasta

4. French Fries

5. Hamburgers

4 Favorite Drinks

1. Coffee

2. Wine

3. Dr Pepper

4. Lemonade

3 Things You Like About Yourself

1. My smile

2. My laugh

3. My awesome personality!!! :-)

2 Things You’re Looking Forward To

1. Thanksgiving

2. Travelling

1 Quote You Live By 

1. Happiness is a risk. If you're not a little scared, then you're not doing it right.