Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Make Your Choices Reflect Your Hopes, Not Your Fears

When I was a child I was confident in everything I did.  I can remember knowing that I was always right.  One of my good friends used to tell me that she knew better than to tell me what to do because I was going to do what I wanted to do regardless of whether it was a good idea or not.  Just because I wanted to.  Which is true.  I am stubborn and bull headed and because I weigh the pros and the cons of every situation I think that whatever decision I am making, it's always going to be the right one. 

The thing is that I'm not always right.  Obviously.  And every decision that I make isn't always the right one.  I am an emotional person, and even though it doesn't really seem like it.  I live in the moment.  A lot.  I take my current circumstances and don't take into consideration that circumstances change.  

I quit my job a couple of months ago to go back to school full time and work part time.  I thought this sounded like an ideal situation. I was really burned out.  I was working at a difficult property, for a difficult owner and everyday seemed like a cesspool of negativity (I wrote lots of blogs about it, Just look back a couple of months). I felt like the only way I could ever do something besides property management would be to get a degree.  Thus going back to school. 

What I discovered after I had quit and been home just a week was a that a lot of my confidence and self-worth was tied up in bringing home a paycheck, in going to work everyday and being the boss.  Even working part time wasn't enough because I was bored.  I was SO bored. Even after school started I was bored.  So this week, I went back to property management, at a different property, and I'm not bored anymore, and my self confidence is back and I feel like I'm contributing again.  

The lesson that I learned the most, and the point of this blog, is that circumstances can change everything. And that is applicable in all aspects of life. 

You can be doing the exact same thing you were doing a year ago and be ten million times happier because your circumstances have changed.  

You can be at a different property, or you can have a different staff. And everything could be better (or worse) because of it. 

You can be getting married for the second, or third, or fourth time and it can be the best thing to ever happen to you.  Because your circumstances have changed.  You've changed, and grown, since the last time and you aren't marrying the same person. 

You can be starting a new relationship and be scared that it's going to be just like all the other times.  But it's not.  Because no two relationships are alike.  You don't want your fears to ruin something amazing.  Different circumstances, different people, different outcome. 

You are not the same person that you were when whatever you were doing before was happening. Which means, as you change your circumstances change. 

What that also means is that you should never base a current decision on a prior circumstance. Nothing is the same as it was the last time.  If you don't like where you are change it.  That doesn't mean you have to change everything, just the things that make you unhappy.  And that doesn't mean that just because you are unhappy means that you have to make a drastic change.  A small change in circumstance can make all the difference in the world. 

Change is really the only constant. You could wake up tomorrow and be the happiest you have ever been.  Isn't that a pleasant thought. 

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