Friday, October 31, 2014

PSA for Today. Learn How to Drive.

I just got to work.  I should probably be working, or spending the hour before the office opens doing school work, but I'm not.  Instead I'm going to blog about commuting, traffic and stupid drivers while listening to more loud music, because that's the only way I make it to work everyday and the only way to CTFD.

I have now been commuting 60 miles a day for two weeks.  It takes me about an hour to get to work and about an hour to get home. Which really isn't that bad.  I have been fairly zen about my commute up until now.  An hour to get from Tualatin to Vancouver isn't horrible.

The past couple of days I have stopped being zen about the whole thing and I couldn't figure out why. Then this morning on my way in I realized what it is.  It isn't the time that it takes.  It's the stupid drivers.  It's the fact that there is no reason for people to drive the way that they do. I will be the first to admit that I am not the best driver on the planet. But common sense makes me an above average driver. So, here is a little public service announcement regarding commuting.  Please read if you are at all annoyed by other drivers, or if you think you may be one of the drivers I'm talking about.

First things first.  Weather.  It changes from day to day.  Sometimes it's sunny and sometimes it's not. There are days where it rains a lot and there are days that it rains a little.  Here's the thing, it rains 8ish months out of the year here.  And it rains pretty hard a lot.  It's also dark a lot while it's raining. Starting on Sunday most commuters will be going to and from work in the dark. That isn't going to stop the rain.  If you are incapable of driving in the rain, or in the dark.  If these two factors together inhibit your ability to push your car down the road, you should probably get someone else to drive for you, at least until you understand that these same circumstances are going to last until APRIL!! Same goes with the sun, I know that on the rare occasion it comes out at this time of year we're all surprised but the glare of the sun should not keep you from driving like a normal person.

Left lane drivers.  Please note that if you are in the left lane that means that you are passing the cars in the right lanes.  If there is someone behind you that wants to go faster than you are going MOVE OVER!  I don't care if you are going 15 miles per hour over the speed limit.  Move.  It isn't your job to keep me from getting a ticket. Choosing to go faster than you is exactly that, a choice.  Move.  Now if you're in the left lane and the lanes aren't moving that's fine, you moving over isn't going to make anyone go faster. However, if traffic clears up and I still want to go faster than you MOVE! You don't have a claim on the left lane just because you spent 20 minutes sitting in it.  Also, please semi-trucks stay out of the left lane.  You're not supposed to be there and it just confuses everyone.

Ass riders.  If you're going to ride my ass at least pull my hair.  I can't go any faster than the person in front of me.  You riding my ass as we're creeping along at 10 MPH isn't going to do anything except cause an accident. You know the assholes on the side of the road holding up traffic because they got in a fender bender.  They're there because the dick in the back was riding the person in the fronts ass, they stopped and the dick in the back didn't have time to stop.  It would solve so many problems if you ass riders would just realize that I AM GOING AS FAST AS I CAN!!  You should also know that if you want to run in to me I don't care.  I have great insurance and I don't like my car so let's do this.

Since I brought up the people stopped on the side of the road, we'll go there next.  If you got into an accident please move out of the lane, I understand that there are some accidents that make this impossible, however, those are the accidents that make my commute take two hours rather than one.  The one hour accidents are the little ones, move onto the shoulder.  No, really, that's what it's there for. To those of you that didn't get into an accident but pulled on to the shoulder to make a phone call, or check your oil or beat your dick or whatever the fuck it is you are doing just sitting there.  GET OFF OF THE FREEWAY!!!  I know it's inconvenient but so is the delay you are causing to my day.

Last but not least is merging.  I think my child has known since he could talk that the reason we sit in traffic is because people don't know how to fucking merge.  I'm not sure why this is.  I know that one of the first things I learned about driving on the freeway was how to merge.  If you are on the freeway you let someone in front of you, if you are merging onto the freeway you need to merge behind the car that the person in front of you merged in front of.  Every. Other. Person. Don't be a dick.  Trying to squeeze three cars in is not necessary.  Even worse is the asshole that thinks no one should get in front of him.  You're the reason that we've been sitting on the freeway for an hour.

If people had more common sense and more common courtesy while commuting the world would be a much happier place.  And it would take us all a whole lot less time to get where we're going.

Phew, I think my blood pressure has gone down now.

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