This stupid girl/stupid boy blog has been inspired by the "ex". Unfortunately, we have all had experience with the ex. Whether it is the ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. The ex-husband or wife. Your current significant others ex. Or your best friends ex. In one way or another our lives have all been touched in some way by someones ex. There is nothing more dreaded than the statement "I got a text from my ex today". It inspires tears, frustration, anger. Excessive drinking of wine...
Ex-spouses are dumb. It doesn't really matter if they are ex-husbands or ex-wives. However, in my experience girls are more ridiculous than boys are. Especially about the fathers of their children. Although, men can be just as ridiculous about the mothers of their children it just seems to me that they don't cause the same level of drama. And boy, do girls cause drama.
I have blocked two people, ever, on Facebook and both are ex-wives. I still have X2's ex-wife blocked because, even now, she tries to cause drama. This is something that I just don't understand. Why are you purposefully going to make someones life more difficult? If I'm leaving you alone why aren't you respecting things and leaving me alone? Not just that but why do you even care?
Maybe I'm not the average ex. Essentially, I just don't care (Big Underwater Jesus). Obviously, if there were an issue with my child and the person that my ex is with I'm going to care. But outside of that scenario I am going to be HAPPY that my ex has found someone. Just because it didn't work out between us doesn't mean that I don't want it to work out for him with someone. Everyone deserves to be happy and find love. Everyone.
If I did have an issue I would approach my ex directly. Like an adult. Even if I knew it was going to be a difficult conversation I would know that I am no longer with this person, which means, essentially, that I don't get to react the way that I may have when we were together. I am going to have a calm, to the point conversation. Like a rational adult.
You know what I wouldn't do? I wouldn't send Facebook messages to his current girlfriend. I wouldn't call her. I wouldn't approach her and ask her to coffee so I could hash out the problems I'm having with my ex. The issues that he and I are having are none of her business. It's his responsibility to deal with her, not mine. Not just that but the likelihood that the issues that I am having at the time have anything to do with her are slim to none.
Girls cause drama. They make shit up. They never forget anything so they bring up old shit from the past. They react emotionally, rather than intellectually, which leads to drama.
The worst ex's are the ones that use their kids as leverage. This nasty ex habit is not exclusive to girls or boys. The second that someone uses their child to punish their ex in any way, they fall into this category. It is not your child's fault that you don't like their mom or dad. It is not your child's responsibility to make sure that the two of you get along. It is your responsibility, as an adult, to make sure that your child has the best relationship possible with your ex. It is irresponsible for you to do anything that would harm that relationship. Using your child as leverage is irresponsible. Not just that but one day, your kid will realize that's what you have done, or have been doing, and the blame is going to all fall right back on you.
Drama. Drama. Drama. Why? Why? Why? It just doesn't make sense to me.