Thursday, September 11, 2014

I Only OCD My Life. Not Yours.

I was at my moms a couple of weeks ago and we were talking about her starting a blog or a Facebook page/group supporting partners of men with prostate cancer.  She made the statement that she isn't sure that she wants to commit that much time to managing and maintaining a Facebook page.  I was trying to explain to her that it wouldn't take that much time. While she was trying to explain to me that she is afraid that she is too OCD, which I should understand.

It was at that point that I made the statement. "I only OCD my life.  Not yours".

Isn't that kinda true for everyone?

It's the classic do as I say not as I do.  Or, how when you are looking at someone else's life challenges you think that you know what they should do and how they react and you don't understand when they don't do the same thing you would do.

Everyone sees things differently.  Everyone approaches problems different.  The other day Josh was cleaning out the garage and every time I walked out there I looked at the order at which he was dealing with the massive mess and it took everything in me to not say anything.  After all, he wasn't doing it wrong.  He was just doing it different than the way I would do it. The end result was the same.  A clean, organized garage, with enough room to play ping-pong. Goal achieved.

That's also why people can give advice so easily. Because it is super easy to give advice about a problem or an issue that you aren't invested in. Emotional investment is what makes problems so hard to solve for yourself. Emotional investment is what keeps people up at night (and boy am I an expert on over-thinking keeping you up at night).  Emotional investment is what makes a person think that they are too OCD to manage a Facebook page or keep up a blog.  It's funny that something so simple can cause someone's OCD to kick in.  I know that if I don't blog fairly regularly I start to feel guilty. That is for sure my OCD tendencies rearing their ugly heads.

I suppose that being emotionally invested doesn't necessarily mean that you are going to be OCD about something.  Obviously I am emotionally invested in my dad's cancer and the way it effects my family. However, because I live in a different house, 15 minutes away, and see my parents once or twice a week I do get to be emotionally distant to some extent.  That can even help with the advice. Any sort of distance can lend perspective.  That is why couples "take a break" or have a "trial separation". If you distance yourself from a situation you are able to see it more clearly.

Emotional investment is also what makes anyone else completely unqualified to have any sort of say in your life.  If someone is not emotionally invested in the outcome of your issue than they aren't the one who is affected by any decision you may make.  Which potentially makes their viewpoint valuable,  But by no means should you take the advice of someone who doesn't have to deal with the ramifications of your decision.  Although, I do believe that any emotionally distant viewpoint may lead to the one paragraph, or sentence or word that resolves your issue which that is awesome. You are the one who gets to make that decision.  Not the person who doesn't have to deal with the fallout.

I guess the moral of this blog is that if you need any advice I'm sure I can give it (but you maybe shouldn't take it).  I may not have my shit together (as my over thinking proves) but the fact that I am emotionally distant from you means that I might be just what you need to solve any problem you may have.  After all.  I only OCD my life. Not yours

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